With films like Rogue One and Solo , Disney has ambitiously set out to explore never-before-seen corners of the Star Wars world, and now it looks like that universe is about to get even bigger. Grab your lightsabers and turn off your targeting computers, because it has been officially revealed that the next Star Wars movie will be entirely about punishing Chewbacca for trying to be human.
Too cool! It’s really about time.
Slated for November 2019, the untitled Chewbacca movie will center on Han Solo’s big fuzzy co-pilot as he’s punished over and over for behaving like a human being instead of the huge unsettling ape-thing he actually is. Set as a side story in the present Star Wars trilogy, Chewbacca will embark on a galaxy-spanning escapade where every pal, foe, being, and droid will team up to build him pay for his vulgar imitations of human, zapping and whipping and cursing him wherever he goes until he is sufficiently dishonor and broken.
“For decades, Star Wars films have flown audiences to a galaxy far, far away where Chewbacca arrogantly defies his nature by sitting upright in a chair, stimulating eye linked with humans, and wearing a bandolier, which we can all agree is inappropriate and incorrect, ” said Lucasfilm president Kathleen Kennedy in a statement this morning, adding that, in the hierarchy of species, Chewbacca ranked somewhere between a muskrat and a water buffalo at best. “With this next chapter of the Star Wars franchise, the Dark and the Light sides will join together to give this heinous, moaning hell-beast the comeuppance he’s deserved for far too long. We can’t wait to show fans each step of Chewbacca’s journey from a wily starship pilot to a thoroughly humbled, chastened mongrel who’s been painfully reminded of his place in the world.”
“Chewbacca’s sin is hubris, and he will answer for it tenfold, ” Kennedy continued. “He will be neutered in both loin and feeling, and the glorious sunlight of justice will glisten throughout the universe once again.”
While Disney has yet to offer up many specifics, rumors have already started to swirl about the recently announced project. Leaked casting calls for roles like “CRUEL BUT FAIR CORUSCANT JUDGE, 50 s” and “CACKLING ELECTROSHOCK-LEASH SALESMAN, 30 s” have specified the internet abuzz with speculation and fan-casting, and big names like Brian De Palma, Lars von Trier, and Werner Herzog are already being floated as possible directors.
Finnish performer Joonas Suotamo is likely to be reprising his role as Chewbacca from 2018 ’s young Han Solo movie, and he’s excited to get back in the fur.
“It’s a very interesting tale, I envision, ” said Suotamo. “The animal who feigns he is human eventually is told,’ Stop this right now. You are a fraud, and everyone agrees that you deserve to live in the dirt.’ It’s a challenge, but I am looking forward to it.”
If it voices awesome now, see how great it will be in theaters. 2019 can’t get here soon enough!
Read more: http :// www.clickhole.com/ article/ saga-continues-disney-has-announced-next-star-wars-6 956
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https://bestmovies.fun/2018/02/07/the-saga-continues-disney-has-announced-that-the-next-star-wars-movie-will-be-entirely-about-punishing-chewbacca-for-trying-to-be-human/
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